Psychology behind regret

Psychology behind regret

 

          Regret is living in the past at the expense of the present. By contemplating the opportunity costs of a past event or decision, the present moment is wasted.

 

          How can the present moment not be wasted? The only way the present moment is not wasted is if you are using the present moment to prepare for a future moment. This future moment is called a goal. Thus, constantly moving in the direction toward our goals is using the present moment wisely.

 

          What should be done about the past? The past should be consciously forgotten and subconsciously remembered. We should never consciously waste time pondering the past but we should subconsciously know it was there. Once you start pondering the past, it becomes easier to continue pondering the past. Pondering the past too much creates regret in the present moment. Regret intensifies when you explain to others about what happened in the past. Thus, reminiscing from a place of negative emotions is the worst therapy.

 

          When dealing with regret, the best therapy is appreciating the moment. Part of appreciating the moment can be living in the future. It’s healthy to live in the future, although it is delusional… until we make it real. This process is the goal setting process. And focusing on our future goals distracts us from pondering the past.

 

          How can we distract ourselves from regretting? You can distract yourself from regret by asking the right questions for your future. Our mind is constantly pondering questions and answering them. As long as we ponder the right questions and answer them, we will be distracted enough to focus on what we want to focus on.

 

          In conclusion, the stronger your ability to be in the moment, the less you will regret in life. When your ability to be in the moment is weak, you will regret more.